On Communication Difficulties

Tonight's the kind of night that stresses me out.  She's fretful.  She's said she didn't feel well.  She's asked me to take her to the doctor.  She's said she's gonna die (it's one of her catch phrases, especially, the suspicion is, because she knows it bothers us).  Yet she can't really tell me what's wrong,  why she says she doesn't feel well.  She shows me her hands.  Her hands are bothering her.  Yet what does that mean? Do they hurt?  Are they cold?  Are they sticky?  Are they antsy? 

Is it really her hands that were bothering her?  Or is she not feeling well elsewhere. 

Could it just be that she's tired?  Could it be a UTI, which causes agitation? 

Could it be none of this?  Could she just be exercising her right as a woman to sometimes be moody?

The thing is- that I don't know.  I don't know, and she either can't tell me-  or chooses not to.  When I told her that  I would make her a doctor's appointment tomorrow, she asked me to take her tonight.  Yet were I to take her to the ER (something she probably doesn't really want-  though she might as the ER staff is amazing and treats her wonderfully from past experiences), what would I tell them?  She just doesn't feel well?

This is where having a good physician comes in handy.  A physician where you can go, and say-  she just says she doesn't feel well lately.  It could be nothing, and if you tell me it's nothing that's great.  Since it's hard to know though, since she has trouble telling me, I take her for checkups sometimes when she probably doesn't need them, because I'd rather take her for nothing than ignore something. 

This is even more where having the Best Physician comes in handy.  On nights like this, where there's nothing definitely wrong (thank God) but she just gets fretful, prayer is best. 

Lord, please help my worries to be for naught.  Lord please help her to really be fine.  Amen.

She's dozed a few times.  She's woken up to clap.  She's snored a bit.  I'm hoping she will stay asleep for a bit.  I'm hoping she will wake up happier.

One of the things you might not think of with dementia going into this is this.  Communication difficulties require help.  Communication difficulties require faith.