L, M, N, O, Q, R, S

Did you ever hear the old, bad joke that went something like this?

Little Jimmy's educator asked him to sing his alphabet.

Jimmy:  "A, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z."

Educator:   "Good job Jimmy, but where's the p?"

Jimmy:  "It's running down my leg."

That joke, like part of my attention these days, centers on urine.  There are many ways that urine has become a part of my life.  Washing and rewashing clothes and bedding, sometimes stems from urine.  Purchasing absorbent underwear is usually about urine.  Regular bathroom breaks become a focus.  I'm intimately aware of some things i didn't think about before.  The smell of baked urine usually fades from fabric car seats within a few days-  either that or you get used to it.  If you ask, doctors might well let you pick up a specimen cup and collect urine at home to test for a urinary tract infection, saving you the time and trouble of dragging a loved one to a medical facility just to pee in an unfamiliar toilet.  If you do that, just make sure you refrigerate the urine.  It might be good to monitor closely for this condition, which seniors can be commonly vulnerable to frequently.  There might be signs-  smell of urine, frequent wetting, unsteadiness, confusion, irritation.  A waterproof mattress cover can be invaluable.  Urine may not be visible on a disposable underwear, but the weight can tell.  It's not that weird to collect someone's urine in a cup, though they may surprise you with the ability to do it alone.  Many disposable underwear brands can be ripped down the side.  It may be possible to collect dog urine by dropping a dish on the ground and kicking it under the stream.  As with human urine, it should be refrigerated.  Darker colored or cloudy urine could maybe signal dehydration or a urinary tract infection.  Both can be bad.  Still do be grateful for urine.  It helps us actually in multiple ways.  Also be grateful for the reasonable doctors. 

Further ya might be a caregiver

Had some fun around the, "ya might be a caregiver" initial post so here's some more: 

1. If you've ever worn absorbent disposable underwear because you were out of clean regular underwear..... ya might be a caregiver.  
2. If you've every wondered how to get urine smell out of your car in the middle of summer.....  ya might be a caregiver.  
3. If you've ever stuck your hand in a wet spot, then smelled it to confirm if it was pee..... ya might be a caregiver.  
4. If you've confirmed it was in fact pee, and wondered if you really had to wash your hand.....  ya might be a caregiver.  
5. If you buy kids items because they're cheaper/healthier/better portioned/cheaper than adult goods, and you have no children......  you might be a caregiver.  

Depends confessional

I have a confession to make.....  I am a presumably continent 35 year old who has worn disposable underwear.  Not once, but multiple times.  The first instance was born of desperation.  It was Sunday and there were no clean underwear.  I justified it by saying I should know what they felt like if I out them on her every day. Gotta say, that particular kind-  not that comfortable (at least at first). Kind of like wearing a diaper.  So i started buying the more expensive but more like underwear kind.  Because seriously- who wants to wear a diaper every day.  Even those, though-  not the greatest.  They got comfortable but the initial wear wasn't the greatest.  So i began to buy the upgrade, which is roughly the same price but has fewer.  Because seriously-  who wants to wear a diaper every day. 

Wearing them is a bit silly, but it really has helped me to better see what our loved ones go through.  So there is good reason to have these underwear (she's wet through in my car multiple times, causing it's current "baked urine" scent and that's with the garments).  Can we make them more comfortable though?  If there is a way to make our wrists into phones shouldn't it be possible to make absorbent underwear that is thin and comfortable.  Do they have to be so tall that they become very visible.  Can they be cute and fashionable. 

Alright, someone's getting antsy.  Thank God! we've had a great night, but better end this confessional now to try and direct us upstairs. 

Creepin' on a Thursday afternoon

This is my first attempt (i think) at blogging via mobile.  The reason for the mobile-ity is because momma and i are in the car, again, creeping.  It's a fine art, creeping, and in my view a sense of a diminished shame filter, though not necessarily bad one.  See momma likes ball games, she has for years.  So o course taking her to one seems a good thing.  Except that it's late season, and the local games around are not the school ones-  which you could attend feasibly under the guise of school spirit even if you didn't know the players.  No these are the kids games and the summer leagues.  The kind of game you normally only go to see if you have a child or loved one in them.  We are childless and, while not friendless, devoid of friends we know play in these games.  So we creep.  Momma isn't allowed to get out of the car, that's the deal.  We sit in the car and watch potential strangers play games and hope that they assume we know someone there.  We don't care who wins.  We don't know or need the score.  The point of creeping isn't really the game, it's momma.  It's momma and the blessing it is that she still gets into a game sometime and finds pleasure in the watching of it.  Thanks God!

Full House and full hearts

Bubs has been on second shift for a few weeks now. Thank God that things have been going well! i pray this continues. This means that she and i get quality time from about quarter to 4 until near 2 am. Again, things have been going well. Generally i get home, where she is sitting and hanging out watching her TV shows and/or dozing. I'll get a few things done, and then I'll encourage her to go for a ride. Sometimes I come up with convenient ways to run errands with her- the recycling center, our favorite refundable cans place, the grocery store. Sometimes we ride around or play stalker, sitting and watching baseball games at a park kind of hoping other people there will assume we know one of the children. Sometimes we go out with one of momma's remaining friends who actually wants to get together with her. This woman has my gratitude for that. Or we might attend a meeting, allowing me to go to it. Thus far we seem to get in around 8 or 9 o'clock fairly frequently. This is Full House time on many nights. We will sit and play solitaire, which she still enjoys, and i will have watch the antics of the Tanner family, which was a show from my childhood. It's nice. There is one disconcerting thing about the Tanner's though- their ages. Remember when you were a child, and the Tanner men seemed so old? Danny is an adult with a career and 3 children, after all. Growing up, they were totally adults. They were old honestly. Except- that they weren't. At least twice now, the show has made me feel old. In one episode Danny, the dad, the straight laced career man, the clean freak, the conservative dresser, the responsible one- turned thirty. That's nearly six years younger than i am now. Last night uncle Jesse turned 26, and talked about his life was finally coming together. Uh dude? Don't get me wrong. i like my life and am grateful for it. Don't though, make me laugh at how far from getting it together i was at 26, much less how far from getting it together i am nearly 10 years later at almost thirty six. Speaking of which should it be a concern that sometimes i am not sure if i'm 35 or 36 actually? Oh well, those two ages are close enough. Time to go though- it's almost 8 o'clock at night. Coming Michelle.....